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Author Topic: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)  (Read 46534 times)

siaros

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Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« on: 07. February 2008, 15:56:52 »

Hi all.
A redhead woman goes to the doctor complaining that every part of her body hurts.
I think i'm dying doc, she tells him, every part of my body hurts. look....( she touches her head).....ouch!, (she touches her breast).....ouch, (she touches her legs)....ouch.  She touched almost every part of her body and the same thing happened, pain.
The doctor finally shook his head and very puzzled he asks.
Are you a real redhead?
No replied the woman, i'm a natural blonde.
Aha.... says the doctor, i knew it. YOUR FINGER IS BROKEN.


he he  no offence but i think it's funny.
hope you all like it.
« Last Edit: 20. February 2008, 23:47:06 by siaros »
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes
« Reply #1 on: 16. February 2008, 15:17:15 »

You are all welcome to post blonde jokes here. i changed the title accordingly.
« Last Edit: 18. February 2008, 21:57:55 by siaros »
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes
« Reply #2 on: 18. February 2008, 22:06:13 »

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes
« Reply #3 on: 18. February 2008, 22:20:37 »

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes
« Reply #4 on: 18. February 2008, 22:25:29 »

Question: Why did the last blonde prostitute die?
Answer: Because she found out that the others were getting paid for it.


Come on people, you must know some real good ones to post.
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes
« Reply #5 on: 18. February 2008, 22:33:00 »

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!
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allpigsmustdie

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Re: Nice blonde jokes
« Reply #6 on: 19. February 2008, 09:18:58 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D blondes must really make you crazy dude!!!
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #7 on: 22. February 2008, 18:41:00 »

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #8 on: 24. February 2008, 01:08:56 »

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #9 on: 24. February 2008, 01:11:55 »

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --->








































<----- Scroll up
« Last Edit: 24. February 2008, 01:14:55 by siaros »
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #10 on: 25. February 2008, 20:01:08 »



A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. The blonde goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. The blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.”

The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #11 on: 27. February 2008, 00:04:03 »

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #12 on: 28. February 2008, 16:46:32 »

A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here." The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here." The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I have learned to speak 'blonde." He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and without question she gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. "I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #13 on: 01. March 2008, 16:48:09 »

 A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, the farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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siaros

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Re: Nice blonde jokes !!!! (post the ones you know here)
« Reply #14 on: 02. March 2008, 16:17:41 »

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
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